Conclusion of my Thesis!

I am the Rising Daughter. 

Rising Tall and Strong. 

Voicing the Unsaid 

Silent Whispers of the Mother Giving Her Name.

I am the Rising Daughter. 

Rising for All. 

Gathering the Fading Memories of the Grandmother Giving Her Form.

I am the Rising Daughter. 

Between the past and future. 

Re-Awakening the Sacred Blood Line of the Ancestral Mother Willing Her born.

I am the Rising Daughter. 

Answering Her Call.

(Rekha Kodialbail, 2011)

The last 12 months of my life has been an immersion—preparation, self-reflection, looking for the coresearchers, meeting them, hearing their stories, and later writing their stories—and through this entire journey, I have constantly redefined, reclaimed, and revisited my own story. This has been the one of the most transformational journeys I have undertaken in my life so far.

Today I stand at the doorstep of my matriliny bearing fruits of wisdom from my mother and grandmothers. Although it might be difficult to draw conclusions based on such a small set of interviews, and because this is a journey I will likely be on for the rest of my life; conclusions will surely keep evolving. However, it is clearly evident through the stories of three generations of women—the grandmothers, my mother, and I—that in the last century Kerala made a dramatic shift from a sexually-open socially-safe mother-centered matrilineal joint family structure to a sexually-uptight socially-unsafe father-centered patrilineal nuclear family life. This shift has affected the psyches of men and women alike and plagued the society with innumerable problems of sexual abuse, domestic violence, suicide, depression, alcoholism, and more. Surprisingly, discussions in media, newspapers, and literature on solutions to these issues lack any mention of this shift in the matrilineal past of Kerala, and in this section I am daring to consciously investigate it.

In my grandmother’s Kerala, obligatory menarche rituals grandly celebrated the daughter’s auspiciousness and consciously prepared her in her relationship with her own body and sexuality, as well as with a man, as she blossomed from a young girl into a sexually mature woman. Today, menarche (thirandukulli) ritual has disappeared, and marriage has emerged as the most defining ritual in a woman’s life. In the absence of these earlier Nayar female-centered rituals, female (and male) gender construction is informed by orthodox religious (Christian, Islam, and Hindu) doctrines, media, movies, and popular literature obsessed with the annihilation of sexual desires, disregard for body and sexuality, and the objectification of the female body. These values have affected men and women’s relationships with the body and sexuality, moving from a naturally shy embodied experience to an unnaturally shameful objectified experience. Furthermore the concepts of eternalized romance, God-like husbands, and subservient chaste wives have given rise to unrealistic expectations in a marriage that were completely absent in my mother and grandmothers’ generations. I projected many romantic expectations on my husband, which he was not prepared to fulfill. Looking back, I feel if I had been guided by my matriliny in the awareness of my body and sexuality, and had the opportunity to openly discuss with women from my taravad sexual fantasies, men, and marriage, I would have faced the challenges in my marriage sooner than I did.

I also observed that in matrilineal Kerala, all the three grandmothers had the confidence to return to their mother’s homes anytime without shame or guilt in the event of the slightest abuse or violence from the husband or his family, mainly because the daughter was openly valued in the culture, and her happiness was connected to the auspiciousness and prosperity of the taravad and its lineage. In fact, matrilineal values were the lived experience of my grandmothers and my parents. On the contrary, matrilineal knowing had no reference in my memory. Many women in Kerala may not have that choice, or like me, they do not know that they have that choice, continuing to stay in abusive or challenging marriages to avoid shaming their parents. Less than a century ago, the daughter did not leave her matriliny after marriage; leaving the taravad was not considered in her interest or that of the matriliny. Sadly, women of my generation have not inherited this experience.

Today the younger generation of Kerala are on a fast track to ape the moralities and values of western civilization in clothing, gestures, language, food, behavior, and attitude; this is deeply concerning. In my 14 years of living in the United States and teaching leadership programs in schools and colleges, I have seen the wrath inflicted on young minds by the objectification of the female body in media and movies, with shockingly high numbers of acts of violence toward women in the United States. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (Black et al., 2011), nearly 1 in 5 women in the United States have been raped in their lives; more than 1 in 3 women have experienced rape, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner (current or former husband, cohabiting partner, boyfriend, or date) in their lifetime, and about 1 in 4 women have experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner (e.g., hit with a fist or something hard, beaten, slammed against something) at some point in their lifetime. The documentary, Miss Representation (released in October 2011) reveals startling statistics on the misrepresentation of women in the media, and media’s consistent effort to portray women as sex objects and subordinate to men. These images are affecting the minds of young boys and girls further perpetuating the cycle of sexual violence in the society.

In recent years, I have observed this trend of misrepresentation of women penetrate Malayalam cinema and Television culture, portraying women’s liberation to mean drinking alcohol, smoking, gossiping, using foul language, having sex anywhere with any man, having fewer clothes on the body, and using sexually provocative gestures with the sole purpose of drawing attention to the female body for sexual fulfillment; men are stereotyped to express overly masculine traits of power, aggression, and lack of sensitivity. These objectifying stereotypes are influencing the quality of relationship between men and women in the culture of Kerala, changing them from intimate friendships to interactions based on fear and abuse. Are we trying to match our numbers with the West in terms of violence toward women?

With modernization there is an urgent need to understand and redefine freedom in the social organization of Kerala. The Nayar grandmothers living within marumakkathayam system might not have had the freedom to do as they pleased (to pursue further education or work to earn a livelihood—all of which I had); however, they had a community of women and men who cherished and honored them. They enjoyed natural freedom in their nude feminine bodies without fear of objectification and judgment, a true freedom that lays the foundation for the blossoming of a complete embodied woman as opposed to a “woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only” (Pinkett-Smith, 2012, para. 1).

I wish every daughter of Kerala could be empowered by her maternal family to stand tall in her body and sexuality, confidently choosing the life she wants to lead (whether single or married), the career she wants to engage in (engineer, doctor, artist, musician, social worker, teacher, and more) and being supported in that journey. In addition, every son also needs to be guided to see a woman as his equal partner in relationships of marriage. In the matrilineal past, women owned property, which gave them immense strength and independence. How can we revive that tradition and make our daughter’s financially self-reliant, so that they may be equal partners in marriage and not a dependency on the husband? Furthermore, as a culture we need to honor matrilineal relationships and keep them alive and active even after marriage (especially in the case of our daughters). I understand that Kerala cannot go back to the marumakkathayam (matrilineal) social organization, but we can engage in open dialogues on the shift from matrilineal to patrilineal social organization, making efforts to adopt matrilineal values for defining egalitarian gender roles for men and women as husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, and daughters and sons.

I have made a commitment to support women’s journeys into spirituality, and to empower the younger generation of women in Kerala to create space in their lives for honoring their bodies and sexuality as sacred and auspicious, in order for them to become powerful social change agents in their communities. Furthermore, I would like to expand my scope of interviews to include more grandmothers, mothers, and daughters across the depth and breadth of Kerala in the next couple of years, and create socially active matriarchal platforms (or centers) in the state to pass on the lived memories of the matrilineal generation to the sons and daughters of patrilineal Kerala.

Before Bhagawathi unleashes Her wrath upon us for our continued negligence and ignorance, I call upon the daughters (and sons) of Kerala to join me in this journey to redefine, reclaim and re-inform our bodies and sexuality through the matrilineal wisdom of our mothers and grandmothers, so that we may consciously dye the cultural fabric of our next generation through our acquired matrilineal wisdom.

Reclaiming matriarchal elements in the present!

Nileswar, Kerala, December 1987

           “Reghae (my name in Malayalam) wake up, wake up, theyyam is about to start”.  That was Prasanna Ele-Amma’s (maternal aunt) gently nudging me to wake up. It was well past midnight. I pulled myself up. The room was lit. Rubbing my eyes I tried to remember where I was. Oh Yes! I was in Pappan Ele-achan’s (Aunt’s husband) Taravad to witness the theyyam ritual. The sounds of the drum, thottampattu (folk song), bells, and voices of people flowed in through the window of the room. It was all happening in the big courtyard in front of the Taravad. I quickly got out of the bed and rushed downstairs. 

          There were people everywhere–relatives, neighbors, young, old, rich, poor, low-caste, upper caste – everyone had arrived to witness the ritual. Children were running around unable to contain the excitement. Women were dressed in clean-starched mundu-veshti. Some had jewelry on. I pushed through the people into the courtyard. The entire courtyard was lit up with tube lights and beautifully decorated with long streamers made of tender banana and mango leaves. There was rice, flowers, and turmeric everywhere on the ground. Preparation had begun weeks in advance. The rituals began yesterday evening. Traditional lamps were lit. Smell of camphor, sandalwood, smoke and alcohol filled the air. My eyes were desperately searching. And then I saw him. 

            I saw him last evening in the courtyard. He looked so ordinary. Now he looked extraordinarily majestic – beyond life. He was seated on a stool in the middle of the courtyard. His face was painted red, orange and white with elaborate symbols. His eyes had been darkened. He wore a huge headdress made up of flowers, wood, stems, coconut leaves, peacock feathers, brass, silver, and so many mirrors. His body was adorned with elaborate costume, jewelry, flowers and coconut leaves. He had huge red breasts. He looked red, dark, horrendous and yet, so beautiful. My eyes were fixated on the theyyam. As the drumbeat and singing picked up, the theyyam began to shiver. He looked into the mirror in his hand. His eyes begin to expand, bulge and then with a roar and jump, he began to scamper in the courtyard. His voice became deep and different. He became Bhagawathi – the Goddess – the Creatress, and Protectress of my uncle’s lineage. The women (mother and daughters) of the household came down and offered rice, plantain, fruits, and flowers to the theyyam. And then everyone lined up to seek Her blessings. Bhagawathi would throw rice or flowers at people. Sometimes she would question ardently and sometimes answer questions. I stood mesmerized as a child. The walls between myth and reality faded away. Everything dark, ancient, mysterious, life giving and also, life taking became the Goddess. 

Theyyam picture courtesy of internet.

         This happened every time I witnessed a sacred ritual art form from Kerala. I have sought validation and proof of its origin. I was told on several occasions to pride in the fact that I belonged to a matriarchal lineage. I wanted to know what that really meant? How did it matter when I no longer saw it structurally? Why does he and not she get to become Bhagawathi in every theyyam ritual? What meaning do the lines and circles on his face symbolize? Why those colors? Why do many of the movements remind me of birds, animals and the forests? Why do the drums, the folk songs and the sounds invoke such ancient memories and pulsating sensations in my body? My young mind toiled with these questions without receiving satisfactory answers. Everyone would just shush me and say, ”You ask too many questions.” I wanted to hold on to these memories and these questions but somewhere between growing up and pursuing an engineering degree, getting married and coming to United States, these memories got tucked away until recently.

                  In my first year of women's spirituality masters program I was introduced to Archaeomythology, an interdisciplinary approach formulated by Lithuanian archaeologist Marija Gimbutas, in a course of the same name at Sofia Institute taught by my professor, Vicki Noble. Archaeomythology is dedicated to cultural research with a particular emphasis on the beliefs, rituals, social structure and symbolism of ancient societies (Marler, n.d.). I understood that the evidence of a culture’s matriarchal history usually lies in the local art forms and folk traditions that have continued as a substratum underneath the foreground patriarchal culture. The revolutionary work of Gimbutas was based on this discovery, bringing to light the Goddess civilizations of Old Europe from the Neolithic period (8th to 4th millennia BCE). The course provided me with the methodology early on in the program to understand the rituals, symbols, beliefs, and goddess culture of the North Malabar region of Kerala, and trace its transition from matriarchy to patriarchy.

                  As I looked at images of Gods and Goddesses in Old Europe (the name Gimbutas coined for pre-patriarchal Europe), symbols, signs, sacred forests, sacred life forms, ceremonial centers, ceremonial costumes, elaborate rituals, masks, headdresses, temple life, oracles, divinations, and matrilineal societies, I was able to recognize, compare, and understand symbology across time (Paleolithic through present times) and space (across continents and land mass) and map it to the present-day culture of Kerala. I was able to recognize many matriarchal elements in the present-day life of North Malabar, such as serpent worship, existence of numerable sacred forests, ancestral sites, and offerings at these sites, harvest festivals, ritual costumes, goddess worship, and more. I even incorporated some of these elements into the making of my body map (an experiential art project for the Archaeomythology coursework; see Figure below). 

I am so gratitude for the work of Gimbutas. I feel more and more women need to understand her work because it gives women everywhere the 'eye' to recognize long forgotten matriarchal elements in the present culture, in spite of its morphed appearance, so that we may reclaim and embody it. 

For those interested to learn about Marija Gimbutas, here is a documentary made on her called Signs Out of Time. Watch it when you are inspired: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozaeuULrLjM

An Old Post on 'I am grateful to be a woman!'

dated SUNDAY, AUGUST 29, 2010

I am grateful to be a woman

To feel, to express, to cherish, to experience compassion and kindness, to love like there is no tomorrow, to weep shamelessly in gratitude, to spontaneously embrace life's storms, to forgive, to create without inhibition, to nourish, nurture and honor life, to dance without embarrassment, to listen without agenda, to act on intuition, to be a fool effortlessly and when needed to expand into the ones power, to argue tirelessly, to gossip without intention, to be vulnerable, to engage in a spiritual dialogue through the intellect, to effortlessly slip into ones heart & weep without reason, to drop the world and transcend into ones higher self – I am grateful to be a woman!

Why has sexuality become so shameful?

With the recently traumatic rape incident in Delhi on 16th December, women in India have woken up to speak about violence and abuse towards girls and women in the community. There is this huge talk around capital punishment for the men who did it. Maybe that might give our collective anger and frustration a momentary relief.

What about that girl?
WIll it bring her back?
WIll she be normal ever again?
Will that solve the problem?
Maybe it might create more fear in men and boys towards behaving abusively towards women and girls in the public sphere. Is that what we want?

Is there a possibility of dialogue between men and women openly on this issue in India?

At the least I am glad that we have begun to recognize this issue in India and we are openly talking about it. But blaming men is not the solution!

Culturally our whole mindset needs to shift around sexuality. I grew up seeing and experiencing sexual abuse everywhere from the age of 11 or 12: the purposeful dashing of strangers into female bodies, the unseen creeping hands grabbing at breasts and genitals, displays of male genitalia, shameful comments by men on the sidewalk. I learned to sense sexual abuse like a sixth sense at a very young age without even directly being in it. It came as a strong feeling of restlessness—every hair in my body stood up, my stomach churned and tightened, my heartbeat and breath shifted. I knew danger was in close proximity and every time I did not act on that feeling, I regretted it afterwards. I have sometimes screamed, slapped, and hit men to protect my body and those of other women in public places. 

I keep hearing this comment that 
  Who asked her to travel alone after dark? 
  Who asked women to wear exposed clothing?
  She brought this on herself?

That is the most ridiculous thing to say. How are women to blame if men cannot keep their sexual urges in check? So according to you the solution would be to 
    lock your women inside homes, 
    cover them up from head to toe in clothes 
    control their sexuality
so men can functional normally?

There is something absolutely wrong about this! Being naked and nude is our most natural instinct. I am not saying that all the nudity we see portrayed by women nowadays comes from real empowerment. Many times I have seen women dressing provocatively to attract men's attention to specific areas of their body. But that is what we are socially informing our young men and women through movies, advertisement, magazines and even religious dogmas -- how to attract men! 

Today we are living in a society which is fully dictating our gender roles and behavior, and even our perceptions around sexuality. Are we aware of this? We no longer know how to respond naturally and amorously to a woman or a man. We have lost our abilities to be sexual in an embodied way. We are merely responding to the patterns we have observed through media or learned through religious dogmas. Are we aware of this?

I recently completed my masters thesis on female sexuality and interviewing grandmothers from Kerala. They shared of a time (not more than sixty years ago) when women bathed naked in the kullams (or ponds) on one side while the men bathed on the other. They saw each other naked and there was no comments or abuse. In fact, according to the grandmothers, men of that time had such a sense of decency that they didn't even care to look. Sixty years later, today Kerala is leading in the statistics of violence towards women and girls? What happened to our men?

Maybe it could be because then in the culture sexuality(in Kerala) was so open and men and women were engaging in sexual contacts enough times that there was no repressed/violent sexual behavior from either sides. When are we going to start talking about sexuality openly and more importantly, the repressed sexuality of so many Indian men. Being in the United States, I have interacted with so many western women who talk about their experience with Indian men--how many Indian men confide in these women that they are too shameful to disclose their need to have sex with their wives because of the fear of being judged immoral and not spiritual. 

Are we empowering our daughters sexually around their bodies, bodily fluids and changes? I myself grew up feeling that women do not have sexual urges. Maybe our sexual urges are different from men, but to make such concepts around sexuality is disturbing. Can we be natural about sexuality? It is an eminent part of our existence. Can we empower our boys and girls to be sexually respectful of each other and treat each other with loving care and tenderness? 

What is our big issue around it? Why has sexuality become so shameful? 
I just cannot understand it anymore.

Can we be natural about it? 
Can we be sensitive about each others sexual urges and needs? 
Can we be kind and patient towards the other in our sexuality?
Can we learn to be better lovers - honoring intimacy and sharing love in relationships?
Can we honor each other as men and women, and be considerate about our sexual desires or having no desires?

Until we as a society are willing to talk about sexuality openly - forget doing anything to bring down the violence towards women and girls? 
It is not going to happen!

The Mayan culture says that starting today a new era is beginning that will be based on egalitarian relationships of balance (and not control) between men and women. 

Is it possible? 
Can we explore our relationships as men and women in a socially responsible, safe loving and compassionate way?
Is it possible?
ANy thoughts.. you are welcome to comment...

My Thesis Abstract

RISING DAUGHTER, SILENT MOTHER, AND FADING GRANDMOTHERS: A STUDY OF FEMALE SEXUALITY WITHIN A NORTH MALABAR NAYAR FAMILY STRUCTURE

by Rekha Govindan Kurup 

Degree of Master of Arts in Women’s Spirituality

Sofia University, formerly Institute of Transpersonal Psychology Palo Alto, California

Abstract

Rising Daughters, Silent Mother, Fading Grandmother

This research is my journey as a modern-day city-bred daughter of Kerala, India, to redefine, reclaim and re-inform my female sexuality through the discovery and investigation of matrilineal Nayar practices. In my journey to womanhood, my relationship with sexuality had undergone numerous struggles that made me question everything—gender perceptions, cultural and social conditioning, the “do”s and “don’t”s of a feminine identity, the age-old dogmas defining womanhood, the shame, disgust and silence surrounding body and sexuality, and most importantly the direct and indirect influences of mother-centered and father-centered cultures on my relationship with body and sexuality. A series of events led me to the doorstep of my matrilineal Nayar ancestry of Kerala where, for the first time, I learned that for untold centuries, the Nayar people had celebrated the sexuality of their daughters through rituals meant to ensure the fruitful blossoming of a daughter into a sexually mature adult woman; yet in my own life, I never experienced these rituals. Using the transpersonal qualitative research method of organic inquiry, I interviewed my mother and 3 grandmothers about their lived feminine experience in a North Malabar Nayar family structure and the various factors that influenced their relationship with body and sexuality as they blossomed from a young girl into an adult woman. Through the lives of the three generations of grandmothers, mother and daughter, it was apparent that in the last century, Kerala made the shift from a sexually open socially safe mother-centered joint-family matrilineal life to a sexually uptight socially unsafe father-centered patrilineal nuclear family culture. One of the most significant influences of this shift is the disappearance of the menarche ritual from the life of a woman and the emergence of marriage as the most defining ritual in a woman’s life. Furthermore, women’s relationship with body and nudity also shifted from a natural embodied experience in the mother-centered social organization to an unnatural objectified experience in the overtly male-dominated culture of today’s Kerala. Through these women’s stories my relationship with body and sexuality shifted in a positive way, and I hope that these stories will likewise inspire daughters everywhere to stand tall in their sexuality and also, re-define, re-engage and re-claim their own stories around body and sexuality, and also, those of their mothers and grandmothers.

It was just another day in the Village!

Thick coconut groves interspersed with mango trees, cashews and jackfruit filled the landscape. Fox, mongoose, and a wide variety of birds, insects, and reptiles lived in the dense darkness of these landscapes safely, undisturbed by humankind. The hot wind blew singing songs of enchanted land, smelling of fragrant wild flowers and sounding of temple bells. Sun shone bright and radiant up in the sky. The open expanse of the green paddy fields with its narrow pathways running through them echoed infinite depths of silence. Streams flowed shamelessly through the woods. It was summer, and life was in full bloom.

            The paddy fields were full of women knee deep in the mushy waters, happy and loud. They were dressed in bare minimum clothes - colored blouses on top, multiple wraps of long cotton cloth around their waists tied into a knot, and their heads were covered with cotton towels to escape the heat of summer. Their dark bare stomachs and long arms stood out against the whiteness of their waistclothes. They were bent down into the fields picking out weeds. Some of them were busy conversing about the latest gossip in town, the others were laughing out loud at some joke and then there were some who were singing folk songs in unison. Joy was around.

            There she was, the little girl – hopping, humming, and walking through the little pathway. She looked happy and content. Her arms swayed shamelessly around. She was visiting her grandparents for summer.  Most of the year, she lived in the city lost in the concrete jungles of big tall buildings, roads, noise and so many people. Everyone was busy there. No one had time for a little girl. She loved it here. Everything spoke to her, including the grass in the field. She was happy here. The little girl’s feet unknowingly moved to the rhythms of the singing women as she tried to balance her walk on the narrow pathway. She didn’t notice the women and the women her.

            And then out of the blue, one of the women saw her. She waved out to the little girl and asked her to come closer. The little girl was shy. By now, the other women were also up straight and looking at the girl with smiles on their faces. The girl shyly walked towards them. One of the women asked her, “Hey little girl, you are not from here, are you?” The little shook her head in a “no”.

            “Who’s child are you?” one of the woman asked. “Where do you live?” asked another. The little girl pointed to a house in the distance and spoke in a low voice, “I am Balamani’s daughter. We are visiting for summer”.

            By now, the women had gathered around the girl, their feet wading in the waters of the field. Many women nodded in recognition of her house. They knew her family and also, her grandparents. They looked at her in admiration, and started to speak all at once:

“Oh! You are Balamani’s daughter! Are you?”

“She is Parvathi Amma’s granddaughter”

“You are such a beauty. Isn’t she a beauty?”

“Oh! Look at her dark eyes!”

“She looks like Bhagawathi herself has descended on the land!”

“Balamani is so lucky! The Goddess has come to her home”

             As the women spoke and commented, the girl’s eyes opened in deep wonder. She looked amazed at these women. She had seen them often but never paid much attention. Now they looked so beautiful and content. And as she looked deep into their eyes, she began to expand and expand and expand. Her awareness grew by leaps and bounds. She looked more beautiful and radiant like the morning sun, fresh and crisp. She was shy and yet, there was a deep strength that arose from within. Something in her had changed. She was becoming. And then, it happened.

           

            She became Her.

            She was the paddy field that the women were standing on.

            She was the wind that was blowing through their hair.

            She was the bird that was flying overhead.

            She was the coconut tree swaying in the wind.

            She was the mongoose, peeking out of the bush to see what was happening!

            She was the Earth looking back at the women.

            She was the Goddess gazing into Her own reflection.

            She was Beautifully Powerful and 

                          Powerfully Beautiful was she!

And then, the very next moment, she was the shy little girl again. Embarrassed and laughing, she turned around and ran back towards her house. Deep in her heart she had awoken. 

She knew that she was powerful because she was a girl. 

She was in love with these women. 

She was in love with the earth more than she ever was. 

She was in love with life.  

The women smiled to each other as they saw her run away, and got back to their work. It was just another day in the village.

I am Back ... Reflecting back upon the past days..

I am finally back into the comforts of my room and it feels so different. So much has happened over the last ten days. Everything is different yet again. This is my third New birth in this life -  I am reborn with a new vision, new purpose and new direction on this planet. And this time my commitment has been reinforced in a real practical way into action.

My First New Birth was in 2001 when my life completely changed - the veil of ignorance, misery and sorrow was lifted and I experienced the vastness of consciousness or spirit or God in a way that I had never experienced before. I found my Spiritual Guide, Role Model and Ideal in Life - in world renowned humanitarian and Spiritual Leader His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I got involved in Art of Living Foundation and International Association for Human Values. And that was the laying of a strong/deep rooted spiritual foundation - the ground was prepared for my fast-paced spiritual growth and action in the world. It is my life's commitment.
http://srisriravishankar.org/

My Second New Birth began to take shape in 2010 when fiercely life challenging series of events propelled me towards the Women's Spirituality Masters Program at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. I was awakened to my feminine wisdom, knowing and existence on this planet. My sight shifted. The walls of conditioning, perceptions, ideas, notions about the world, religion, scriptures, society, country, female/male, marriage, sexuality, body and everything else was being torn down and destroyed. I was acquiring the sight of seeing things for what they are versus what I am told it is. Life suddenly became beautiful in the most simplest way. My life's commitment was defining its direction.
My spiritual practice and the grace of my Spiritual Teacher freed me from the pangs of sorrow. I knew I wanted to work with women and I was seeking the "how", "when", and "where". I was seeking directions and calling out to the Earth, Nature, Goddess to guide me. And then I was guided to Deer Lame, Montana

My Third New Birth began to happen the minute I signed up to go to attend the 11th Council of the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers in Deer Lame, Montana - making the entire trip on my own and camping at the site solo was all new territory to me. And the four days of begin with the grandmothers, I am beginning to get more clarity on my work in the world - my direction towards working with women around the world - Grandmothers, Mothers and Daughters need to rise and stand tall in their indigenous wisdom to heal themselves, the Earth, their children, grandchildren and knock some sense into their men - brothers, fathers, lovers and life partners.
http://www.grandmotherscouncil.org/

The spirit has guided me here. My purpose on this Earth is becoming clearer. My life is no longer mine. And I trust that spirit will unveil further how all these three worlds will come together. Then the impact will be the Greatest! The dawn of the Spiritual Age is just around the corner....