Reclaiming matriarchal elements in the present!

Nileswar, Kerala, December 1987

           “Reghae (my name in Malayalam) wake up, wake up, theyyam is about to start”.  That was Prasanna Ele-Amma’s (maternal aunt) gently nudging me to wake up. It was well past midnight. I pulled myself up. The room was lit. Rubbing my eyes I tried to remember where I was. Oh Yes! I was in Pappan Ele-achan’s (Aunt’s husband) Taravad to witness the theyyam ritual. The sounds of the drum, thottampattu (folk song), bells, and voices of people flowed in through the window of the room. It was all happening in the big courtyard in front of the Taravad. I quickly got out of the bed and rushed downstairs. 

          There were people everywhere–relatives, neighbors, young, old, rich, poor, low-caste, upper caste – everyone had arrived to witness the ritual. Children were running around unable to contain the excitement. Women were dressed in clean-starched mundu-veshti. Some had jewelry on. I pushed through the people into the courtyard. The entire courtyard was lit up with tube lights and beautifully decorated with long streamers made of tender banana and mango leaves. There was rice, flowers, and turmeric everywhere on the ground. Preparation had begun weeks in advance. The rituals began yesterday evening. Traditional lamps were lit. Smell of camphor, sandalwood, smoke and alcohol filled the air. My eyes were desperately searching. And then I saw him. 

            I saw him last evening in the courtyard. He looked so ordinary. Now he looked extraordinarily majestic – beyond life. He was seated on a stool in the middle of the courtyard. His face was painted red, orange and white with elaborate symbols. His eyes had been darkened. He wore a huge headdress made up of flowers, wood, stems, coconut leaves, peacock feathers, brass, silver, and so many mirrors. His body was adorned with elaborate costume, jewelry, flowers and coconut leaves. He had huge red breasts. He looked red, dark, horrendous and yet, so beautiful. My eyes were fixated on the theyyam. As the drumbeat and singing picked up, the theyyam began to shiver. He looked into the mirror in his hand. His eyes begin to expand, bulge and then with a roar and jump, he began to scamper in the courtyard. His voice became deep and different. He became Bhagawathi – the Goddess – the Creatress, and Protectress of my uncle’s lineage. The women (mother and daughters) of the household came down and offered rice, plantain, fruits, and flowers to the theyyam. And then everyone lined up to seek Her blessings. Bhagawathi would throw rice or flowers at people. Sometimes she would question ardently and sometimes answer questions. I stood mesmerized as a child. The walls between myth and reality faded away. Everything dark, ancient, mysterious, life giving and also, life taking became the Goddess. 

Theyyam picture courtesy of internet.

         This happened every time I witnessed a sacred ritual art form from Kerala. I have sought validation and proof of its origin. I was told on several occasions to pride in the fact that I belonged to a matriarchal lineage. I wanted to know what that really meant? How did it matter when I no longer saw it structurally? Why does he and not she get to become Bhagawathi in every theyyam ritual? What meaning do the lines and circles on his face symbolize? Why those colors? Why do many of the movements remind me of birds, animals and the forests? Why do the drums, the folk songs and the sounds invoke such ancient memories and pulsating sensations in my body? My young mind toiled with these questions without receiving satisfactory answers. Everyone would just shush me and say, ”You ask too many questions.” I wanted to hold on to these memories and these questions but somewhere between growing up and pursuing an engineering degree, getting married and coming to United States, these memories got tucked away until recently.

                  In my first year of women's spirituality masters program I was introduced to Archaeomythology, an interdisciplinary approach formulated by Lithuanian archaeologist Marija Gimbutas, in a course of the same name at Sofia Institute taught by my professor, Vicki Noble. Archaeomythology is dedicated to cultural research with a particular emphasis on the beliefs, rituals, social structure and symbolism of ancient societies (Marler, n.d.). I understood that the evidence of a culture’s matriarchal history usually lies in the local art forms and folk traditions that have continued as a substratum underneath the foreground patriarchal culture. The revolutionary work of Gimbutas was based on this discovery, bringing to light the Goddess civilizations of Old Europe from the Neolithic period (8th to 4th millennia BCE). The course provided me with the methodology early on in the program to understand the rituals, symbols, beliefs, and goddess culture of the North Malabar region of Kerala, and trace its transition from matriarchy to patriarchy.

                  As I looked at images of Gods and Goddesses in Old Europe (the name Gimbutas coined for pre-patriarchal Europe), symbols, signs, sacred forests, sacred life forms, ceremonial centers, ceremonial costumes, elaborate rituals, masks, headdresses, temple life, oracles, divinations, and matrilineal societies, I was able to recognize, compare, and understand symbology across time (Paleolithic through present times) and space (across continents and land mass) and map it to the present-day culture of Kerala. I was able to recognize many matriarchal elements in the present-day life of North Malabar, such as serpent worship, existence of numerable sacred forests, ancestral sites, and offerings at these sites, harvest festivals, ritual costumes, goddess worship, and more. I even incorporated some of these elements into the making of my body map (an experiential art project for the Archaeomythology coursework; see Figure below). 

I am so gratitude for the work of Gimbutas. I feel more and more women need to understand her work because it gives women everywhere the 'eye' to recognize long forgotten matriarchal elements in the present culture, in spite of its morphed appearance, so that we may reclaim and embody it. 

For those interested to learn about Marija Gimbutas, here is a documentary made on her called Signs Out of Time. Watch it when you are inspired: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozaeuULrLjM

An Old Post on 'I am grateful to be a woman!'

dated SUNDAY, AUGUST 29, 2010

I am grateful to be a woman

To feel, to express, to cherish, to experience compassion and kindness, to love like there is no tomorrow, to weep shamelessly in gratitude, to spontaneously embrace life's storms, to forgive, to create without inhibition, to nourish, nurture and honor life, to dance without embarrassment, to listen without agenda, to act on intuition, to be a fool effortlessly and when needed to expand into the ones power, to argue tirelessly, to gossip without intention, to be vulnerable, to engage in a spiritual dialogue through the intellect, to effortlessly slip into ones heart & weep without reason, to drop the world and transcend into ones higher self – I am grateful to be a woman!

Why has sexuality become so shameful?

With the recently traumatic rape incident in Delhi on 16th December, women in India have woken up to speak about violence and abuse towards girls and women in the community. There is this huge talk around capital punishment for the men who did it. Maybe that might give our collective anger and frustration a momentary relief.

What about that girl?
WIll it bring her back?
WIll she be normal ever again?
Will that solve the problem?
Maybe it might create more fear in men and boys towards behaving abusively towards women and girls in the public sphere. Is that what we want?

Is there a possibility of dialogue between men and women openly on this issue in India?

At the least I am glad that we have begun to recognize this issue in India and we are openly talking about it. But blaming men is not the solution!

Culturally our whole mindset needs to shift around sexuality. I grew up seeing and experiencing sexual abuse everywhere from the age of 11 or 12: the purposeful dashing of strangers into female bodies, the unseen creeping hands grabbing at breasts and genitals, displays of male genitalia, shameful comments by men on the sidewalk. I learned to sense sexual abuse like a sixth sense at a very young age without even directly being in it. It came as a strong feeling of restlessness—every hair in my body stood up, my stomach churned and tightened, my heartbeat and breath shifted. I knew danger was in close proximity and every time I did not act on that feeling, I regretted it afterwards. I have sometimes screamed, slapped, and hit men to protect my body and those of other women in public places. 

I keep hearing this comment that 
  Who asked her to travel alone after dark? 
  Who asked women to wear exposed clothing?
  She brought this on herself?

That is the most ridiculous thing to say. How are women to blame if men cannot keep their sexual urges in check? So according to you the solution would be to 
    lock your women inside homes, 
    cover them up from head to toe in clothes 
    control their sexuality
so men can functional normally?

There is something absolutely wrong about this! Being naked and nude is our most natural instinct. I am not saying that all the nudity we see portrayed by women nowadays comes from real empowerment. Many times I have seen women dressing provocatively to attract men's attention to specific areas of their body. But that is what we are socially informing our young men and women through movies, advertisement, magazines and even religious dogmas -- how to attract men! 

Today we are living in a society which is fully dictating our gender roles and behavior, and even our perceptions around sexuality. Are we aware of this? We no longer know how to respond naturally and amorously to a woman or a man. We have lost our abilities to be sexual in an embodied way. We are merely responding to the patterns we have observed through media or learned through religious dogmas. Are we aware of this?

I recently completed my masters thesis on female sexuality and interviewing grandmothers from Kerala. They shared of a time (not more than sixty years ago) when women bathed naked in the kullams (or ponds) on one side while the men bathed on the other. They saw each other naked and there was no comments or abuse. In fact, according to the grandmothers, men of that time had such a sense of decency that they didn't even care to look. Sixty years later, today Kerala is leading in the statistics of violence towards women and girls? What happened to our men?

Maybe it could be because then in the culture sexuality(in Kerala) was so open and men and women were engaging in sexual contacts enough times that there was no repressed/violent sexual behavior from either sides. When are we going to start talking about sexuality openly and more importantly, the repressed sexuality of so many Indian men. Being in the United States, I have interacted with so many western women who talk about their experience with Indian men--how many Indian men confide in these women that they are too shameful to disclose their need to have sex with their wives because of the fear of being judged immoral and not spiritual. 

Are we empowering our daughters sexually around their bodies, bodily fluids and changes? I myself grew up feeling that women do not have sexual urges. Maybe our sexual urges are different from men, but to make such concepts around sexuality is disturbing. Can we be natural about sexuality? It is an eminent part of our existence. Can we empower our boys and girls to be sexually respectful of each other and treat each other with loving care and tenderness? 

What is our big issue around it? Why has sexuality become so shameful? 
I just cannot understand it anymore.

Can we be natural about it? 
Can we be sensitive about each others sexual urges and needs? 
Can we be kind and patient towards the other in our sexuality?
Can we learn to be better lovers - honoring intimacy and sharing love in relationships?
Can we honor each other as men and women, and be considerate about our sexual desires or having no desires?

Until we as a society are willing to talk about sexuality openly - forget doing anything to bring down the violence towards women and girls? 
It is not going to happen!

The Mayan culture says that starting today a new era is beginning that will be based on egalitarian relationships of balance (and not control) between men and women. 

Is it possible? 
Can we explore our relationships as men and women in a socially responsible, safe loving and compassionate way?
Is it possible?
ANy thoughts.. you are welcome to comment...

My Thesis Abstract

RISING DAUGHTER, SILENT MOTHER, AND FADING GRANDMOTHERS: A STUDY OF FEMALE SEXUALITY WITHIN A NORTH MALABAR NAYAR FAMILY STRUCTURE

by Rekha Govindan Kurup 

Degree of Master of Arts in Women’s Spirituality

Sofia University, formerly Institute of Transpersonal Psychology Palo Alto, California

Abstract

Rising Daughters, Silent Mother, Fading Grandmother

This research is my journey as a modern-day city-bred daughter of Kerala, India, to redefine, reclaim and re-inform my female sexuality through the discovery and investigation of matrilineal Nayar practices. In my journey to womanhood, my relationship with sexuality had undergone numerous struggles that made me question everything—gender perceptions, cultural and social conditioning, the “do”s and “don’t”s of a feminine identity, the age-old dogmas defining womanhood, the shame, disgust and silence surrounding body and sexuality, and most importantly the direct and indirect influences of mother-centered and father-centered cultures on my relationship with body and sexuality. A series of events led me to the doorstep of my matrilineal Nayar ancestry of Kerala where, for the first time, I learned that for untold centuries, the Nayar people had celebrated the sexuality of their daughters through rituals meant to ensure the fruitful blossoming of a daughter into a sexually mature adult woman; yet in my own life, I never experienced these rituals. Using the transpersonal qualitative research method of organic inquiry, I interviewed my mother and 3 grandmothers about their lived feminine experience in a North Malabar Nayar family structure and the various factors that influenced their relationship with body and sexuality as they blossomed from a young girl into an adult woman. Through the lives of the three generations of grandmothers, mother and daughter, it was apparent that in the last century, Kerala made the shift from a sexually open socially safe mother-centered joint-family matrilineal life to a sexually uptight socially unsafe father-centered patrilineal nuclear family culture. One of the most significant influences of this shift is the disappearance of the menarche ritual from the life of a woman and the emergence of marriage as the most defining ritual in a woman’s life. Furthermore, women’s relationship with body and nudity also shifted from a natural embodied experience in the mother-centered social organization to an unnatural objectified experience in the overtly male-dominated culture of today’s Kerala. Through these women’s stories my relationship with body and sexuality shifted in a positive way, and I hope that these stories will likewise inspire daughters everywhere to stand tall in their sexuality and also, re-define, re-engage and re-claim their own stories around body and sexuality, and also, those of their mothers and grandmothers.

It was just another day in the Village!

Thick coconut groves interspersed with mango trees, cashews and jackfruit filled the landscape. Fox, mongoose, and a wide variety of birds, insects, and reptiles lived in the dense darkness of these landscapes safely, undisturbed by humankind. The hot wind blew singing songs of enchanted land, smelling of fragrant wild flowers and sounding of temple bells. Sun shone bright and radiant up in the sky. The open expanse of the green paddy fields with its narrow pathways running through them echoed infinite depths of silence. Streams flowed shamelessly through the woods. It was summer, and life was in full bloom.

            The paddy fields were full of women knee deep in the mushy waters, happy and loud. They were dressed in bare minimum clothes - colored blouses on top, multiple wraps of long cotton cloth around their waists tied into a knot, and their heads were covered with cotton towels to escape the heat of summer. Their dark bare stomachs and long arms stood out against the whiteness of their waistclothes. They were bent down into the fields picking out weeds. Some of them were busy conversing about the latest gossip in town, the others were laughing out loud at some joke and then there were some who were singing folk songs in unison. Joy was around.

            There she was, the little girl – hopping, humming, and walking through the little pathway. She looked happy and content. Her arms swayed shamelessly around. She was visiting her grandparents for summer.  Most of the year, she lived in the city lost in the concrete jungles of big tall buildings, roads, noise and so many people. Everyone was busy there. No one had time for a little girl. She loved it here. Everything spoke to her, including the grass in the field. She was happy here. The little girl’s feet unknowingly moved to the rhythms of the singing women as she tried to balance her walk on the narrow pathway. She didn’t notice the women and the women her.

            And then out of the blue, one of the women saw her. She waved out to the little girl and asked her to come closer. The little girl was shy. By now, the other women were also up straight and looking at the girl with smiles on their faces. The girl shyly walked towards them. One of the women asked her, “Hey little girl, you are not from here, are you?” The little shook her head in a “no”.

            “Who’s child are you?” one of the woman asked. “Where do you live?” asked another. The little girl pointed to a house in the distance and spoke in a low voice, “I am Balamani’s daughter. We are visiting for summer”.

            By now, the women had gathered around the girl, their feet wading in the waters of the field. Many women nodded in recognition of her house. They knew her family and also, her grandparents. They looked at her in admiration, and started to speak all at once:

“Oh! You are Balamani’s daughter! Are you?”

“She is Parvathi Amma’s granddaughter”

“You are such a beauty. Isn’t she a beauty?”

“Oh! Look at her dark eyes!”

“She looks like Bhagawathi herself has descended on the land!”

“Balamani is so lucky! The Goddess has come to her home”

             As the women spoke and commented, the girl’s eyes opened in deep wonder. She looked amazed at these women. She had seen them often but never paid much attention. Now they looked so beautiful and content. And as she looked deep into their eyes, she began to expand and expand and expand. Her awareness grew by leaps and bounds. She looked more beautiful and radiant like the morning sun, fresh and crisp. She was shy and yet, there was a deep strength that arose from within. Something in her had changed. She was becoming. And then, it happened.

           

            She became Her.

            She was the paddy field that the women were standing on.

            She was the wind that was blowing through their hair.

            She was the bird that was flying overhead.

            She was the coconut tree swaying in the wind.

            She was the mongoose, peeking out of the bush to see what was happening!

            She was the Earth looking back at the women.

            She was the Goddess gazing into Her own reflection.

            She was Beautifully Powerful and 

                          Powerfully Beautiful was she!

And then, the very next moment, she was the shy little girl again. Embarrassed and laughing, she turned around and ran back towards her house. Deep in her heart she had awoken. 

She knew that she was powerful because she was a girl. 

She was in love with these women. 

She was in love with the earth more than she ever was. 

She was in love with life.  

The women smiled to each other as they saw her run away, and got back to their work. It was just another day in the village.

I am Back ... Reflecting back upon the past days..

I am finally back into the comforts of my room and it feels so different. So much has happened over the last ten days. Everything is different yet again. This is my third New birth in this life -  I am reborn with a new vision, new purpose and new direction on this planet. And this time my commitment has been reinforced in a real practical way into action.

My First New Birth was in 2001 when my life completely changed - the veil of ignorance, misery and sorrow was lifted and I experienced the vastness of consciousness or spirit or God in a way that I had never experienced before. I found my Spiritual Guide, Role Model and Ideal in Life - in world renowned humanitarian and Spiritual Leader His Holiness Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. I got involved in Art of Living Foundation and International Association for Human Values. And that was the laying of a strong/deep rooted spiritual foundation - the ground was prepared for my fast-paced spiritual growth and action in the world. It is my life's commitment.
http://srisriravishankar.org/

My Second New Birth began to take shape in 2010 when fiercely life challenging series of events propelled me towards the Women's Spirituality Masters Program at the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology. I was awakened to my feminine wisdom, knowing and existence on this planet. My sight shifted. The walls of conditioning, perceptions, ideas, notions about the world, religion, scriptures, society, country, female/male, marriage, sexuality, body and everything else was being torn down and destroyed. I was acquiring the sight of seeing things for what they are versus what I am told it is. Life suddenly became beautiful in the most simplest way. My life's commitment was defining its direction.
My spiritual practice and the grace of my Spiritual Teacher freed me from the pangs of sorrow. I knew I wanted to work with women and I was seeking the "how", "when", and "where". I was seeking directions and calling out to the Earth, Nature, Goddess to guide me. And then I was guided to Deer Lame, Montana

My Third New Birth began to happen the minute I signed up to go to attend the 11th Council of the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers in Deer Lame, Montana - making the entire trip on my own and camping at the site solo was all new territory to me. And the four days of begin with the grandmothers, I am beginning to get more clarity on my work in the world - my direction towards working with women around the world - Grandmothers, Mothers and Daughters need to rise and stand tall in their indigenous wisdom to heal themselves, the Earth, their children, grandchildren and knock some sense into their men - brothers, fathers, lovers and life partners.
http://www.grandmotherscouncil.org/

The spirit has guided me here. My purpose on this Earth is becoming clearer. My life is no longer mine. And I trust that spirit will unveil further how all these three worlds will come together. Then the impact will be the Greatest! The dawn of the Spiritual Age is just around the corner....

Council: My New Friends that I could get on Camera..

There are so many more dear friends I met. I am using the word "met" instead of "made" because it was instant connection and friendship like we were always friends. Big Hug to all of you wonderful amazing people! Many I couldn't get on camera but they are residing in my heart and some on my address book. :)

Council Memoirs: 2nd Day, July 27th

Fri, July 27th 6:30 PM

Today morning I woke up so full and content like I could live this life forever. When did we get so attached to having a house and filling it up with unnecessary garbage that destroys the earth in every possible way! What is happening to us humans. 

I had a real cold shower today morning in my favorite shower area. The energy from that shower has lasted me all day. I am still sitting in the arena waiting for the sun to go down so I can walk to my tent. I forgot to say - their is a group here with 5 wolves. These wolves are amazing animals. They have a deep sense of knowing. The Chayenne deeply care for the wolves and buffalos. In Fact wild buffalo is their most revered animal. The Chayenne tribe has a great history. This land/reserve is the land of their ancestors. In the early 19th century, the conquests and the white army moved them out of their land. They were only given to option - exterminate or move. They were moved to Oklahoma. In that forced evacuation many of their elders lost their lives. In Oklahoma they felt displaced and far away from home. They longed to come back here. They were kept like prisoners - children were taken away from families and made to forget their native tongue and traditions. It is truly sad! There was a group which tried to make their way home to Lame Deer, Montana but they were destroyed all the way home. It was a tragic and traumatic past. This gathering or council's sole purpose is to heal that wound and wipe it out so that the everyone can move forward in peace. Some years ago the government for the first time acknowledged this land and gave it back to them. There is around 440000 acres of land here that belongs to the Chayenne tribe. Once they came back within years, the wild buffaloes showed up. And with the buffaloes slowly all their land animals returned - elk, mountain lion, wolves. The story and connection to the land is so beautiful. The CHief shared the story with us.

Today the Nepalese and Mayan grandmother held the ceremonies.  It was straight from the heart - no elaborate rituals - simple. The Nepalese grandmother went into a complete trance. People around were having so many emotional and spiritual experiences. I was just touched so deeply by the innocence of the grandmothers - Naturalness is the Best. She then gave blessing to everyone. All we are doing is praying together - again and again and again. Praying to heal the trauma of the land. 

There have been many new experiences like one of the tribesmen hunted a buffalo - killed  and presented it to the conference. And he shared today the way they do it. Before going they pray and then they go inside into the forest and pray to the buffalo to show up and share the purpose with the buffalo. The buffalo shows up and the kill is made. The understanding between man and human is so moving. Every part of the buffalo is used. The hyde of the buffalo is pinned and getting dried. The meat is getting cooked and served to the guests.  I am realizing that I have no judgement of any of this. It is not something I would ever do and I don't even see the purpose in eating meat. Humans can totally avoid it. But then every culture and tradition has its ways and I honor it. Here it is happening very consciously. I don't think I can honor and love the buffalo the way the tribe does - so who am I to comment.

And the most amazing is their greeting before and after - Aho! The way they say it is so powerful. I feel like I am hearing Janaka exclaim - Aho! Niranjano. And the "ho" comes out loud and strong like the air is pushed right out. It brought to memory a meditation that Guruji leads with us using the sound "Ho". 

It seems every 2 weeks an indigenous tribe is becoming extinct. This is the statistics. It is sad. We definitely need to stop this. The indigenous tribes are the protectors of this land and still strongly connected to this land and its mysteries without any influences of man made religion and religious ideologies. It is pure and natural!

I am just in awe and so grateful for this experience! My heart filled up and throat chokes just at the remembrance of this opportunity. As I am writing there is a group of people playing the indigenous flute. It invokes such a longing in the heart for the beloved. The grandmothers kept talking about the beloved and the breath. I love grandmothers. We need to become a society that treasures the grandmothers and grandfathers, and gives them the highest status. 

Tonight they are going to screen the grandmothers movie called - For the Next 7 Generations around 9 PM. We bring our blankets and popcorn and wtahc it. I am excited! I have bought the DVD - would love to watch it with you.

The altar fire is still burning. I am waiting for the sun to set. I will go and have my dinner. 

One of the biggest message from the grandmothers was "Slow Down. Slow Down. Slow Down."

Council Memoirs: July 26th 1st Day of Conference

Fri, July 27th 6 PM…

Yesterday my laptop ran out of battery and I couldn't do my sharing. Today is the second day of the conference an it is around 6 PM. I am sitting here in the ritual arena next to a pole which has power outlet - sharing my yesterday with you!

It has been an amazing journey so far! The simplicity, love and beauty of the grandmothers fills my heart. They have come together beyond language, cultural differences, ethnicities to give us a message of love and peace. They are showing us how to be love, peace, laughter, generosity, beauty, innocence and a child - all at the same time! At this age of their life, they are traveling around the world - inspiring their world children to wake up and connect within - care for the earth, live a conscious life with minimal needs. Minimize your consumption! People from every age group are here: pregnant mothers, new born babies, little babies, children, youth, middle aged and many many grandmothers from across the world -definitely more women than men. The  connection and , belongingness you feel is beautiful! Everyone takes care of the other. There is no fear of stealth or anything! Everyone shares what they have with each other. 

Yesterday was a day full of amazing rituals led by the grandmothers. EVeryday we get the honor of participating in a hour long ritual led by one grandmother - three in a day. The sun has been crazy hot here and yet, the spirit of everyone is high! The ritual arena is cool! 

For me it has been a beautiful experience of living within my needs. I have my world in this little tent. I cook something simple -e at it. I have learned many things about camping and I love it! I sleep towards one end of the tent where I can open the netted window and I sleep looking at the star filled sky. Yesterday night, the moon shone into my tent the whole night. I also love the almost completely open shower area for women. I have realized how far I have come with my comfort in my body. I had no shame of my nakedness - there was not a moment's hesitation. I was amazed at that. I loved the shower. It is a very temporary outdoor setup with the water falling right into the grass. The door is a flapping curtain as the wind is really strong. 

Yesterday evening the sweat lodges are up. I might make my entry tomorrow morning - maybe. I have made so many friends here. We eat together, walk together. Every session I have been sitting in different area of the ritual arena and have met many amazing grandmothers from across the US. 

Yesterday the Chayenne CHief was here and he addressed the grandmothers and the guests. It is amazing to witness the amount of wisdom the tribes have. Tehir life is integrated with nature - wind, water, fire, sound are all so honored and respected! The Chief was talking about gender roles and he said something so beautiful - "We do not believe in equality. We believe in balance". That is what the indigenous cultures are about - Balance. It has made me think about so many things and the life that I want to live going forward on this earth.

This whole trip has reaffirmed my calling and need to do women's work. It is time!

Council Memoirs: Wed, July 25th

It is 10:18 PM. I am writing from inside my tent - sitting on my sleeping bag - bed. What an amazing end to an even amazing day!

The drive all day was beautiful! It began with Grand Teton National Park. My pictures do no justice to the beauty of Mother Nature. The sheer magnanimity of the peaks and the sky and the expansive infinite space simply blows the mind away. I stopped again and again and again. It was simply breathtaking! And then I drove into Yellowstone. I just drove a little and took the East entrance exit and drove straight to Montana. And then again my mind was blow away - not once but three times.  Leaving Yellowstone behind the vegetation changed drastically. At one point I was driving through these huge ravines or canyons. They were mind blowing. I forgot the name of this park. The gigantic mud canyons and the river flowing through them was sight to behold. My mind kept saying - where am I! What is this! Oh My God! And then as if it was not enough - I encountered the wild wild west like in the movies as I drove through Buffalo Bill National Park. It has topped the list! It has even beaten Grand Tetons! The mountain range here were definitely bigger than Grand Tetons and they were GIGANTIC - my jaw dropped! And the infinite expansive space made me feel so tiny. It was directly out of a western B/W movie. I felt as though I have gone to a different time and place and even planet! This was in a place called Cody. I think it was still in Wyoming. And then we entered Montana. I love this place too. The shapes of the mountains and the dry yellow covering is beautiful! And by the time I drove closer to where I was supposed to be there was no signal. At first, I was a little scared as it was nowhere land and there was no sign. My GPS also gave up! This thought did cross my mind - Imagine you drove all this was and there is nothing! And I surprised myself as there was no disappointment at that! My first thought was - where will I stay tonight! :)

And then the signs started showing up and I arrived! It was a huge reserve - empty land whee there were tipis, ritual arena and many tents already setup. People had already arrived and setup. And they are continuing to arrive even now! There are so many people! I registered and then had to drive and figure out a place to setup. I picked a spot and then got out of my car - thinking - "Oh God! Let this tent setup work out smoothly". And just as I thought, I heard a voice - "Can I help you with your tent? I looked up and saw this most beautiful young lady walk towards me. She is my neighbor now. She helped me setup the tent. Thanks Karen! It was a piece of cake and was done in less than 10 inutes. She also helped me get all the stuff out! And then I Spent the next 30 minutes setting up all the stuff inside and outside. I realized so many things I didn't bring which was essential for a Camping trip. I will have to be creative and innovative. The biggest challenge is shower and portable potties! It will all be interesting! I made myself a little sandwich. And then took my camera and walked around! Met lot of people - from france, and other parts of Europe and so many states of US. There are so many Native Indians. I am soooo excited! In the ritual arena, the fire is already setup and one of the grandfathers who is the fire bearer already did some cleansing ritual! I met his daughter - Billy Joe. She is sweet! I then walked back to my tent. Before going to sleep, I decided to draw a mother peace card from the Major Arcana to know what strength of mine is showing up and guess what - MAgician! And that is all about fire and manifesting and creating something powerful -s tearing change! Oh! Well! 

Now I am going to go o sleep. No Cell phones here. And looks like my laptop only has 34 minutes left. Soon she will disappear too. Then I will go for my book. I am going to do some painting. Images are already forming shape in my mind.

Before going to bed, will peek out to see the sky - the stars began popping few minutes ago. Since the lights are so few, you can even see the galaxies. Cant wait! Good Night Everyone! 

Council: The Grandmothers...

 The Fiery, Hep, Ethusiastic, Childlike, Amazign Amazing Grandmothers --

 Deep, Ancient, Loving, Wise and Brilliant - Grandmothers...

 There she is - Another powerful Grandmother...

 There is ten of them - three of them coudlnt make it due to health and other family situations!

 Most Amazign instrument I have heard till now...

 Grandmother Margaret - Chayenne Elder and the one who called and hosted this council! She is beautiful!